Pages

Monday, February 15, 2010

Elevator Fun


Next time you’re on an elevator and feel a little bored, liven up the moment with some of these insightful ideas. Guaranteed to make heads turn or your money back.
1. When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
4. Swat at flies that don’t exist.
5. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, “Shut up, all of you, just shut up!”

6. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, “Got enough air in there?”
7. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they’d like to play.
8. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they hear something ticking.
9. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
10. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
11. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
12. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, “I have new socks on.”
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, “This is my personal space!”
14. Fart loudly then exclaim “Was that you. There’s no way I could do that one because unfortately mine don’t come out loud.”
15. Before the elevator door opens shout “DING” and then laugh and say “beat you again Mr Elevator.”
16. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
17. Hire a labrador, wear sunglasses and repeatedly walk into the walls whilst pretending to not hear the other passenger’s direction.
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “that’s mine!”
19. Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi Greg. How’s your day been?”
20. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, “You’re one of THEM!” and back away slowly.

Stripped down lesson of Politics.


FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

A fantastic Start

How do you shoot a blue elephant?
With a blue elephant gun, of course.

How do you shoot a red elephant?
No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue,
then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

How do you shoot a green elephant?
Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue,
then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.*

How do you shoot a pink elephant?!
First you bake a cake, and put 3 raisins on top, then you take it out in the jungle where the pink elephant will find it, and you wait. Eventually the elephant comes along, finds the cake, eats the raisins and throws the
cake away. Then you go home and bake another cake and put 2 raisins on top,take it out in the jungle where the elephant will find it. The elephant comes along, finds the cake, eats the 2 raisins and throws the cake away.You go home and bake another cake and put only one raisin on it. Then you trek back into the jungle and put the cake where the pink elephant will find it. The elephant comes along eats the raisin, and throws that cake away. Now you go home and bake another cake, but (here's the sneaky part) you don't
put any raisins on it. You take it out into the jungle where the elephant will find it and lie in wait. The pink elephant comes along and finds the cake, he gets SO mad that there aren't any raisins on it, he turns red, then
you jump on him, strangle him until he turns blue......and you shoot him with a BLUE ELEPHANT GUN!!!

How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
Aw, come on, have you ever seen a yellow elephant !?!


Disclaimer:
As you all know,I am biggest looser of all time.I am a jerk with such a bad sense of humour with poor knowledge of "the great" english with gujju accents.I suck at so called artistic and sensible writing such as some regular joggers of our so called blogger park visitors.But the thing is,I have "don't give a damn" policy.
So don't expect much from this place.You might not get what you are looking for.Even you might not get what you are not looking for or even you get what you are not looking for.So in short,this place is totally shit,totally random,useless,timepass and yeah crap.So don't tell me later on " You are miserable,Dude" or "Have a taste man!" or "Screw you,man".I think you got my point.

Why Sillykaun?

The Man.The Dude.The Legend.
World is always attracted to these kind of persons.They run the world.They own the world.Minority is driving the majority.But have you looked at the other side of them? The silly side.Yeah,as name suggests this blog is meant for one eternal search,SillyKaun?.It can be me,it can be you,it can be your class topper,it can be any one....but the point is everyone has some silly quotient within.There is no standard procedure to measure the SQ(mind it,Silly Quotient..) but we'll surely find some way,a instrumental or theoretical,but we'll.
Stay tuned to find out your SQ.....